Growing up 12 miles from Fenway Park meant a lot to Lexington, and he was determined to give it his all. Opening Day is a big event with a parade through downtown and players from all teams lining up in both rows (think Opening Day at Fenway, for all its pomp and atmosphere, you won't be too far behind). Things went from bad to worse. My shiny new all-white uniform has arrived in the mail. I was so excited to try it on, but sad when the pants didn't fit me. My late mother decided in her infinite wisdom (I'm glad you're not here reading this ma) that she could fix them, so I let her try, but she could only use gray stuff. So what ended up happening was 100 minor league baseball players lined up on the first and third end lines at Lexington Center Field and 99 perfectly ironed their bright white uniform pants. I have a large gray stain in the center of the back of my white pants. My last name is Guernsey (rhymes with cow), and I'm chubby where I shouldn't be, and the laughter and humiliation are complete.
This is my most embarrassing moment, but surprisingly not that many. There is a rule in minor league baseball that everyone has to play. This made the managers unhappy, but the players (especially the bad guys who lied to me!) were elated. My coach sent me to right field (he told them it was a warmer bench than money could buy) with a lot of fear and a sincere hope that no one would pass the ball to me. If you're not familiar with LL ball, that's where coaches put their worst players on the field and hope nothing bad happens. Unfortunately, it did. One of the first batters to hit the field lined up over my head after I got into the game, and hilarity ensued. As my hat flew, I ran (wobbled?) after the ball and came back. Instead of continuing to chase the ball, I stopped and chased my cap. Only after I got my hat back did I continue to chase the ball. Suffice to say, by the time I got the ball back, my opponent had already turned the bases around and I was unceremoniously taken out of the game. The only good thing is that there is no AFV or YouTube to record this huge misstep.
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